Jamie Parler

Today is my little Boy’s birthday. He doesn’t seem to be little to me anymore. It seems like yesterday that Jennifer woke up and said “something feels different. I think today may be the day.” From there my life has never been the same.
Elliott, what a joy it is to be your Dad. I have learned more about God the Father from being your father. I could never be the perfect father but I sure will do everything i can to point you to the Father who is.

Thank you little buddy for blessing my life. I never could explain how much i truly love you. We have enjoyed so much life together already and have a bunch more to go.

I look forward to watching you grow up in the Lord. Have a great birthday

OK – Since I should be on day 23 or so, maybe I should post on discipline and procrastination.  Instead of that I think I will just extend the time and finish it over the entire year. In fact, it is somewhat ironic that on a day that I am admitting my lack of disciplne, I am about to quote from a man that made his entire life about motivation: Zig Ziglar. Zig Ziglar is the master motivator.  He has wrtitten tons if books over the years.  His first breakthrough book was called “See you at the Top.”  It was a breakthrough succes, so he began writing a follow up called “Over the Top.”  While he was in the process of writing, his editor had a discussion with him.  He informed Zig that he has never explained what the top meant.  He had a book called “See you at the Top” and was writing a book called “Over the Top,” but he had never explained what “the top” was.  Below is a description of the top.  Which leads to my sixth (out of 39) thing that I have learned in 39 years.

Day 6- Many people are trying to climb their way to the top……..Make sure you know what’s at the top, before you spend your life climbing toward it.

I decided many years ago that Zig Ziglars definition of “the top” is what I will spend the rest of my life climbing toward. I hope it will greatly impact your life as it did mine.  If Zig Ziglar happens to be searching through the North Side web page and stumbles upon this, I would like to say thanks (and could we go to lunch).

“At The Top”

You are at the top when…

• You clearly understand that failure is an event, not a person, that yesterday ended last night, and today is your brand new day.
• You have made friends with your past, are focused on the present, and optimistic about your future.
• You know that success doesn’t make you and failure doesn’t break you.
• You are filled with faith, hope and love; and live without anger, greed, guilt, envy or thoughts of revenge.
• You are mature enough to delay gratification and shift your focus from your rights to your responsibilities.
• You know that failure to stand for what is morally right is the prelude to being the victim of what is criminally wrong.
• You are secure in who you ared whose you are, so you are at peace with God and in fellowship with man.
• You have made friends of your adversaries, and have gained the love and respect of those who know you best.
• You understand that others can give you pleasure, but genuine happiness comes when you do things for others.
• You are pleasant to the grouch, courteous to the rude and generous to the needy.
• You love the unlovable, give hope to the hopeless, friendship to the friendless and encouragement to the discouraged.
• You can look back in forgiveness, forward in hope, down in compassion and up with gratitude.
• You know that “he who would be the greatest among you must become the servant of all.”
• You recognize, confess, develop and use your God-given physical, mental and spiritual abilities to the glory of God and for the benefit of mankind.
• You stand in front of the Creator of the universe and He says to you, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

So I took a couple of days off….Sorry about that. Here we go with day 5

#5 – It’s not a weakness to ask for help….It’s a strength

You can’t do it all.  I can’t do it all. And we are not suppossed to either.  Sure we live in a society of being “self made.”  For some reason we have bought into the notion that asking for help is some sort of weakness.  Maybe it’s my personality or maybe I just realize that I’m not the sharpest guy, but it has never been hard for me to ask for help.

I realize that you have to ask the right person at the right time. I also realize that people aren’t going to help you if they feel you can do it on your own; that’s called laziness.  However, it is very wise to be willing to ask for help because we are in fact limited in and of ourselves.

In todays world churches and corporations alike operate in mostly a team atmosphere.  The NFL, NBA, and Major League Baseball certainly rely on the team approach.  There’s an old saying that says “all of us are better than one of us.”  It’s true.  There is no “I” in team but there is a big fat “I” right in the middle of pride. 

If done with the right attitude and with the right people, it has been my experience that most people will help you with just about anything that you need.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Remember, it’s not a weakness, it’s a strength!  Have a good day.

Day 4 – Mother Teresa was right!

Everyone who knows anything about the life of Mother Teresa has great admiration for the work that she did throughout her life.  Bily Graham once was asked, “if good works could get you to heaven, on a scale of 1-10 where would you be?”  When hearing Mother Teresa had answered that same question with a 7 or 8, Doctor Graham said, no where close to Mother Teresa.”

A few years ago, I ran across some words that she penned.  It encouraged me greatly and I’ve tried to make these words a part of my lifestyle.   Here they are.  I hope you not only enjoy them, but put them to good use.

Anyway….By Mother Teresa

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self centered, love them anyway

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish motives, Do good anyway

The good you do today will be forgotten, do good anyway

If you are successful you win false friends and true enemies, succeed anyway

Honesty and Frankness make you vulnerable, be honest and frank anyway

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs, fight for some underdogs anyway

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight, build anyway

People really need help but may attack you if you help them, Help them anyway

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth, give the world the best you’ve got anyway

Day 3- You have to know where North is on the Compass and you have to believe that North, really is North.

I stole this illustration from a Dave Ramsey video that I saw a while back. I have used it several times and it works quite well every single time. I simply pull out a compass, ask the folks to stand up, close their eyes, and point North. Then I ask them to hold their fingers in place. Then I ask them to open their eyes and to look around. There are fingers pointing in all kinds of directions. I then simply re-direct those fingers to the true north according to the compass that I am holding.

This is a very short but important truth here, and this is it: North is North. There isn’t but one north. The same is true in life, there are certain things that are truth…period.

We live in a day and age where truth is relative. Don’t believe that for everything. The law of gravity is not relative. I surely don’t recommend this, but if you must test this truth, there are many tall buildings that would be happy to oblidge. What goes up will come down and that’s the truth whether you choose to believe it or not. It’s not truth for me and something else is truth for you. It’s either the truth or it’s a lie.

If you are heading to new York but you take I-95 to Florida, I guess you will eventually get to New York, but may I recommend I-95 North? It’s much easier, takes less time, and gets you there. The same is true in God’s word. It is truth. It is proven. It has stood the test of time, and there is a bunch of destruction in our world because people question whether it is truly “north” or not.

Let me assure you that it is indeed “north.” It is the direction for our lives. Here is the problem. Instead of adjusting our lives to the Bible, we try to adjust the Bible to fit our lives. In the words of Dr. Phil, “How’s that working for us?” North is North…Truth is truth. Find the direction for north, follow it, and see what happens….Thanks for stopping by.

As I mentioned yesterday, I have decided to take the next 39 days and blog about 39 things (principles, lessons, etc.) that I have learned in 39 years. They are in no order of importance, except I intend on saving the best for last on day 39. But, besides that, they are in no particular order. However, I will say that today’s is one of my top five and possibly top three. I blogged about it a while back, but have to bring it into the mix because it is so important. This quote changed the way that I currently parent and plan to continue. By the way, it could be applied to any person; but it’s an absolute must as far as parenting.

Day 2 – “Read, Don’t Write”

I am big on quotes. I love to find quotes that are inspiring, humorous, etc… Today I want to share with you a quote that I read several years ago that changed my life. It is from Max Lucado (one of my favorite guys) and it is a quote about raising children. I was reminded about it this morning when I dropped Elliott off at Karate camp It says this :

“Moms and Dads face a decision; Make our children in our image or release our children to follow their God given identities? View each child as a book, not to be written, but to be read. Don’t see your child as a blank slate awaiting your pen but as a written book awaiting your study. God gave you an 18 year research project. Ask yourself, your spouse, and your friends: ‘what sets this child apart?’ Childhood tendencies forecast adult abilities. Read them. Discern them. Affirm them. Chearlead them.”

I never took Karate. I never got into space or Star Wars. I was a baseball, football, basketball guy. I have learned from this quote. It is too often that parents want to mold them to experience the same things they did. We do have a responsibility to mold and to set boundaries, but within those boundaries is a lot of variety. In Proverbs 22:6, the Bible says to train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. That is often a misunderstood verse that people take as “if I set a Godly example, they will turn out Godly.” That is not what this verse is saying. It is saying what Max Lucado is saying. Every child has a certain way that he or she is bent (designed); undertsand it and promote it. Elliott and I will experience different childhoods because our interests are different and that’s ok. However, as a father, thanks to this quote I have been able to tap into his interests and submit myself to what he likes.

I want him to try different things because I think it’s healthy to explore. But it would be unhealthy if I forced him to do something that went away from the way God designed him. Read your child, affirm them, chearlead them.

Well today is my 39th birthday. While it beats the alternative, 39 is not so flattering to me. It’s almost 40 and that seems old to me (no offense). I don’t feel 39 and I sure don’t act like it. But I thought I would make the most of it by identifying 39 things (truths, lessons, principles) I have learned in 39 years. I will take one a day for the next few weeks. These are just my thoughts and I hope you enjoy and if you so desire, share them with others.

Day 1
Most games are won in the second half – The same is true in the game of life

I had a tough mental day back in May of this year. It was the end of the school year and graduation was in the air for all of the seniors around town. I thought back about my own High School graduation and realized that it didn’t take very long for 21 years to go flying by. But then at the very same time – I mean immediately, my brain was able to mathematically compute than in 21 years from now, I will be eligible to tap into my 401K retirement. I told you it was a tough day. So 21 years ago and 21 years from now; do you know what that means for me? Yep, you got it….Halftime (Call it mid-life if you must)! Not just halftime in any game, but halftime in the most important game of all – life!

Here’s what I have learned about halftime from watching sports. Halftime is about catching your breath, evaluating what you did right and wrong in the first half, and most importantly, making those necessary halftime adjustments. You can’t un-do the first half, but you can certainly learn from it. And in order to win, you must reflect and adjust in order to win.

The question becomes, what is your definition of a win? Zig Ziglar says that adults go through phases. I call them the 4 “S’s.” From survival to stability, from stability to success, from success to significance. All of life is about significance. Ironically, it takes us much of the first half to figure that out. Wherever you are, whether it is in the first half, halftime or even late into the second time, it is never too late to make the necessary adjustments in your life to win the game of life.

I’m sorry I haven’t blogged recently. It has been crazy and I lack discipline. Anyway, I am now gearing up to launch a series of blogs called “39 things I have learned in 39 years.” My birthday is in a couple of weeks (October 6). Don’t feel like you need to buy me a present, cash will be just fine. Anyway, I started thinking through some things and as I enter my last year of 30″s, I thought I would share some thoughts. At first, I didn’t think I could come up with 39 things. But when I started writing them down, 39 came quick. In fact, I am well into the mid forty’s and I have to begin to scale it back a bit to make it 39. See even in this situation I am having a hard time with portion control.

So mark your calendars for October 6 as I begin to share over the next 39 days…the 39 things I have learned in 39 years. Thanks for checking in. Have a good weekend

I had a conversation yesterday with a good friend who is a pastor and has struggled over the last few years. During the conversation he told me about some things that were going really well at his church, but I could still sense that frustration that I have heard over the last couple of years. That’s when God laid this question on my heart to ask him: I said “would you trade places today with where you were two years ago.” He said of course not. Why? Because he had made progress.

Here’s the point. We get so focused looking through the front windshield of where we are going and realize that we have a long way to go. But, seldom do we take a moment and look in the rear view mirror to see how far we have come. It’s kind of like weight loss (so I’m told). That whole one pound a week thing. While it is important to stay focused and look forward toward the goal, it is just as important to see how far you have come. It gives you confidence to keep going (so I’m told!).

For me, I am guilty of this. I always look for the next step of the journey. But God has taught me to reflect for a moment and see how far I’ve come (actually how far he has brought me). There’s an old song lyric that says “We have come so far, you have been so good. When I think about the road that we have traveled, I gotta tell you Lord. I look at where we are and see where I could have been. I need to say again, you’ve been so good, who would have guessed that we have come so far.”

Thank God today from where he has brought you and where he wants to go. Stay with him, he’s right there with you!

I love great lyrics and man, the other day I found some on the new Selah record. Many great songs on this CD, but track 8 called unredeemed really spoke to me. I guess because I know a few people right now are going through some storms in their lives. My prayer is that these lyrics will bring comfort to those I know and any others who are going through tough times.

Life breaks and falls apart, but we know these are…. Places, where grace is; soon to be so amazing… It may be unfulfilled, it may be unrestored, but when anything that’s shattered is laid before the Lord, just watch and see, it will not be, Unredeemed.

In other words, the final chapter of your situation may not be written as of yet. But take heart, as a Christian God will complete the story. Your situation may be unfulfilled, it may be unrestored, but it will not be unredeemed. That’s the power of God in our lives.