As I mentioned yesterday, I have decided to take the next 39 days and blog about 39 things (principles, lessons, etc.) that I have learned in 39 years. They are in no order of importance, except I intend on saving the best for last on day 39. But, besides that, they are in no particular order. However, I will say that today’s is one of my top five and possibly top three. I blogged about it a while back, but have to bring it into the mix because it is so important. This quote changed the way that I currently parent and plan to continue. By the way, it could be applied to any person; but it’s an absolute must as far as parenting.
Day 2 – “Read, Don’t Write”
I am big on quotes. I love to find quotes that are inspiring, humorous, etc… Today I want to share with you a quote that I read several years ago that changed my life. It is from Max Lucado (one of my favorite guys) and it is a quote about raising children. I was reminded about it this morning when I dropped Elliott off at Karate camp It says this :
“Moms and Dads face a decision; Make our children in our image or release our children to follow their God given identities? View each child as a book, not to be written, but to be read. Don’t see your child as a blank slate awaiting your pen but as a written book awaiting your study. God gave you an 18 year research project. Ask yourself, your spouse, and your friends: ‘what sets this child apart?’ Childhood tendencies forecast adult abilities. Read them. Discern them. Affirm them. Chearlead them.”
I never took Karate. I never got into space or Star Wars. I was a baseball, football, basketball guy. I have learned from this quote. It is too often that parents want to mold them to experience the same things they did. We do have a responsibility to mold and to set boundaries, but within those boundaries is a lot of variety. In Proverbs 22:6, the Bible says to train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. That is often a misunderstood verse that people take as “if I set a Godly example, they will turn out Godly.” That is not what this verse is saying. It is saying what Max Lucado is saying. Every child has a certain way that he or she is bent (designed); undertsand it and promote it. Elliott and I will experience different childhoods because our interests are different and that’s ok. However, as a father, thanks to this quote I have been able to tap into his interests and submit myself to what he likes.
I want him to try different things because I think it’s healthy to explore. But it would be unhealthy if I forced him to do something that went away from the way God designed him. Read your child, affirm them, chearlead them.